I am in the hospital. I am supposedly having a cardio conversion. Half of my heart is dead. I only have half a heart. So they planned this procedure, and I show up. UNC Pardee. A woman walks up to me and says.

Strip.

Excuse me.

If you refuse to strip, we will burn your penis.

My poor penis. I CANNOT believe this is happening out of now

This is a heart thing. This is not a cock thing.

I’m keeping my pants on.

I don’t give a flying fuck what this woman’s problem is.

Her problem is me.

I strip naked for this cocksucking bitch?

No. I hate her guts.

Finally (pants on) they wheel me into this procedure room. I was cooperative and the procedure worked. I am out of afib. But 50% of people do not respond. Usually, after three days, it reverts. Now, they want more tests and more tests and more tests and more tests.

I’m burned out.

I have been through these procedures a thousand times.

How do I trust them when they want to burn my penis.

Why don’t we light up a few cigarettes and you morons can burn my penis.

I get the nurse look.

My response is to bring file a grievance with the State Medical Board. Where she gets her license. They have official names. I have hunted them down. They take abuse very seriously.

I have no other option.

This woman wants to burn my penis. This is how fucked up medicine is.

Western medicine is seriously about torture.

I would rather be dead than have these evil bitches touching me. It’s my heart. Not my penis. And if you burn my penis, I will call the police. 911. I am hiding my phone in my pillow. I will call the cops then and there. Standing naked in the hall if I have to. Then, I am going to Nurse Licensing. I am going to hit every chord. I will not give up. This hospital hired this evil woman and they are complicit in abuse. And it’s sexual abuse. No doubt about it. I had a physical therapist once who tried with this stuff but did not succeed. I wrote her up. And she was fired. No, I do not want a backrub. 

Back off witch. You are preventing me from getting health care even when my blood pressure is 180. I can hear my heart in my chest. You respect no one. You are a danger to the community. How many other men have you abused. We’ll see. There is such a thing as the Americans With Disability Act. I can file with them, too. They usually go right to DOJ because transparency is now covered in slime. It will go to the State of North Carolina. And it will go the feds. Why.

Because there are so many laws now that speak to the civil rights of the disabled. It’s been interesting to read about the legal end of this. This woman is going to be hauled into a room where there is a nice table, and these nice men, suits, will be 

asking her a lot of questions.

If asked to testify, I will. Gladly. She’s a danger. You guys know all the papers I have written for. Freelancers usually cannot afford insurance. If I allow them to abuse me, what does that say about me.

Now they are thinking about even more procedures. Like perhaps stick a plastic tube into my groin and up into my heart. We are not here on this planet for very long. Our lives are ephemeral. I don’t think I will do this or participate in my own abuse. I have spent years at fighting NOT to be a victim. I hope that don’t burn my penis with dye and is radioactive. I notice one thing. When I talk directly to people about this whole situation, I never mince words. Every single time I say the word penis, they look at the ground or away, and that is when I use that word again and again and again. You can see them slithering. Penis. Penis. Penis. Hey, everybody. Penis!

I wanted to know about the down time, when will I be able to work.

And how does a person get through twenty procedures, I’m serious, this could play out for a long time. Recovery. Half a heart. Fucking shit.

They are not speaking to me, now. And I still have no idea what they are doing because that information seems locked down. I either do what I am commanded to do, or they will burn my penis. I’m taking a walk. I have these great sunglasses (Saint Laurent), and a fly fishing hat. I walk right by them. I have done it many times. What they do to me is evil. Life is too short for this. – Tim Barrus 

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