Tim Barrus Blog
Posts tagged with autism
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Tim Barrus New York Times
Take notes. Gay men have formed a survivor’s group that is about older men who survived AIDS. And the AIDS era. Which has not ended. The group is angry with me for questioning the tenet of the tenets. The rule that life is always worth living because it’s life. Living…
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Tim Barrus: Rape in a Hospital
I was asked to testify before a senate committee dealing with HIV health issues and doctors. I took a walk. I do not trust homo sapiens sapiens one little bit. I’m autistic. There is nothing you can do to me that would bend me toward whatever it is you want.…
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Gus is Extraordinary
Take notes. I wept after seeing Gus so excited for his dad. I have autism. Saying inappropriate things is what I do. You learn real fast to look down at your feet. You creep away. Pulling all your neurodivergent sorries with you. It is extremely obvious that Gus comes from…
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NYT Aspergers
I was diagnosed as high functioning Aspergers as a kid. Asperger was a Nazi monster. I deplore even writing his name. I used to say: I Hate School. Now, I say: School hated me. Never unmask. Too dangerous. Never talk to teachers. Keep your hands folded on your desk. Do…
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ASPERGERS
Identity is a romance. You are not who you say you are. No one is. Shapeshifters. Do. Not. Touch. Me.
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What Does Autistic Mean
We know what autistic means. Usually, we have to pretend to be like you. Or you will kill us. We get it. We so get it.
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Michigan Was Not a Life
I am autistic. I have wondered and wondered. I lived on the wrong side of the river. Rusted ugly town of rusted ugly people. There was no blue sky. The coal cars stunk like corpses and the sulphurized-yellow clouds that drifted through our homes and lives, and as it lifted…
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Tim Barrus, New York Times
I Was Fucking Him Then He Died So. Like. The dude under you just died. You have permission to leave Dodge. I would just go. The movies would have you rolling the body up in the dining room carpet. I hope you got paid. I would never look for a…
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Tim Barrus, New York Times
Tea is best. Mescaline in my world is Moon. In my world, this will not be a world you recognize or know, there are codes, languages, suggestions articulated to obfuscate the normals into demonstrations of a white snow. Button snow is a little darker. If you advocate, you break the…
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Tim Barrus: Ancient Prophecies
I was just standing there one day, no one knows the day, all of them were there, the ones I had fucked, the ones who had fucked me as in orbit you never knew anyone who believed no shit wasn’t going to go crackerjack on that flight from pain. How…
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Tim Barrus: On Writing
People will tell you to hang in there. It’s not malevolent. It’s stupid, but not outright evil. It’s just sound coming from a mouth, signaling closure. I’m autistic. I do not get this stuff. What does it mean when their eyes look up into the sky. There is a message…
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Tim Barrus: Even the Weather
I am a communist. That alone will push me down a thousand paths. I do not tell people about it. They laugh at me. Everyone hates me. I have learned that without support, you become autism’s slave. I like the phone because I can arrange the apps around how they…
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Autism Spectrum We Do Not Know That Much About the Brain Although We Pretend We Do. Rubbish.
What was it like when you were a kid. They all go there. Sooner or later. I was a straight A student who supported his family. At thirteen. At fourteen I knew I would shoot myself. I did.
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The Birthday Party
the birthday party became too loud/ you could not handle it/ the other guys were slightly astounded that you panicked/ birthdays in general can be a dark afternoon where everything is forgotten/ i can’t blame you/ the counterfeits of our second selves/ what’s wrong with him he’s freaking out at…
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Tim Barrus: The New York Times
Tim Barrus: The New York Times (for those of you who are telling me that the New York Times would never publish my experience/opinion – eat shit) http://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/02/nyregion/suicide-school-overdose-deaths-ny-family-foundation.html?comments#permid=28470036 Institutional Abuse of Children With Autism I worked in a school for children living with autism, and saw the most shocking, egregious,…