Take notes. “Despair, however, is not an option in medicine.” Despair is the only option there is. What I do not understand is that health insurance is still unavailable. Money. Capitalism and health care is an uneasy relationship. Instead of kicking you out into the street, they are allowed to raise the price of their insurance to ridiculous heights. I cannot afford $6,000 dollars a month. Actually, I am relieved to not be able to buy health insurance. It gives me the “option” of not going to doctors.

Hallelujah!

Death would be a release from being abused. No more cardiology. I do not buy the rhetoric that insists doctor, doctor, doctor. Enough. I do not want your cruel insurance. I do not want your machines. I do not want your long list of demands. I told them where to stick their holy of holies, colonoscopy. Never. Ever. Ever. “You have to have a colonoscopy.” You and whose army. I could drop dead at any moment. I so do not care. They will blackmail you. They withhold treatment if you don’t do ten million things you have to do or else. There is no fix here. The rich want us to die. That is not uncivil. It’s a fact. I want to die in the woods. I have made a little trail to a tree I love. I will rest there on the ground. I am at all times surrounded by the other animals who live here on this mountain. I want to be with my friends who live in the wild. Struggling with insurance companies who will not pay is not a life. America should be ashamed. Despair is all that is left.