the way it unfolded was not unlike the way it always unfolds/

we are at opposite ends of a picnic table/ six feet apart/ but connecting/

boats in the immediate distance bobbing about on the water smelled of rich people somewhere else/

i am sitting with andrew as the dew on the grass all around us drips with the shallow night’s ending not unlike a deviant’s eyes are irreconcilable/

so, you’re telling me you don’t have an office/

no/

why don’t you have an office/

shrugs i shrug a lot/

how am i supposed to talk about my shit in a park on a picnic table, tim/

it sounds like you don’t want to talk about your shit because it’s hard/

i suck what can you do about it/

how does it feel to suck/

andrew is laughing so hard he has melted under the picnic table where he is telling me he doesn’t suck cock/ it is too early in the morning to talk about sucking cock/

andrew rolls a joint at the picnic table/

i would never smoke dope with a child/

i would never break the six-feet-away social distancing rules/

unless it was an emergency/

it is never too early in the morning to smoke weed/

he passes me the joint/

his spit that has soaked the tip of the joint is sweet like sweet potato pie i am not supposed to notice that or comment on it but i notice things and comment on them whenever i feel like it/

liberally/ too many things are dangerous/

andrew should be in school/ school was closed/

andrew quit school/

my eyes to the sky/

i like girls/

he grins/

not/

the glittering dew on the grass has evaporated/

i just got diagnosed/

i know/ you seem scared/ hiv is scary/ you never know what is going to come next and land on you/ like another fucking virus/

you say fucking/

i never say fucking/

andrew is laughing/ i think we might be friends/

i was not expecting that/

are you my shrink/

no/

i’m going to call you shrink/ you never know what is going to come out of a shrink’s mouth next/

does anyone/

does anyone/

no one i know/

i am never scared/ of anything/

andrew, what do you want/

there was a long silence between us/

i want all of this to go away/

i am sitting at a picnic table with andrew as the dew on the grass all around us has stopped dripping wet with the shallow night’s ending not unlike a deviant’s eyes are irreconcilable/

https://medium.com/@timotheebarrus/a-deviants-morning-eyes-9369e7644ecd