Hitler consoles hospital patients. Walks through wards greeting wounded soldiers.

This is not our image of the monster. I included it here as an example of exactly how complex creating a package of who people are actually has repercussions in the real world. I present the words of Donald Trump to indict him.

I exhibit JFK speaking about terrorism long, long before we came to know it.

Superman. Mickey Mouse. I want to satirize the culture. All of our electrons reduced to space. All of our electrons in one place and all the other places of possibility in all the other places.

As I do these things, the at-risk boys I teach watch. Listen. Question. Articulating other options as we create and recreate a particularly abstract history that we see in flashing images.

Throughout their lives, education has always sucked cock. They reject learning about history as they find it too hard to understand. History itself being something we have no comprehension of.

We were not always there. What we know are voices and the flash that knocks around our brains.

They know Hitler was bad, and a monstrosity, but they did not know he walked around hospitals consoling the wounded. History is more complicated than we know.

So are these boys.

Often, it’s about what is left out versus what has been editorially inserted. We recreate history for ourselves. We build it as a package we can sell. Our versions of reality as juxtaposed upon the agreements that the fundamental aspects are a starting point in time. Time is the beginning. Time is the end. Of everything.

Physics is a cosmic time that I cannot teach standing in front of a blackboard. Or I will lose them. I have learned so much from the many I have lost. Teaching is not a check list. It’s a redefinition of what reality is every minute of every day. If you are teaching stuff the way you did last year, you are not a teacher. You are irrelevant. Cosmic time is a scale that assumes the origin of the 4 dimensional space that created itself at the big bang. Because the Big Bang is a sudden expansion of the universe, in this scale, the universe is assumed to be homogeneous.

The kids standing around my desk as we construct the video are in effect creating themselves as selves and second selves in the expansion of identity. That they are only now seeing themselves as part of something, that something is time as it surrounds them with a gravity that can scare the ones who assume an arrogant posturing not unlike a black hole whose light cannot escape anymore than the light from the kid can shine for you unless you shake him with the history of who he was and who he is as he stands beside me as we add this, add that, erase this, erase that. And then we are compelled to make it sing.

Stuff like time gets pulled from him. Memories find the shock and awe that is emitted from his eyes.

The mother who hated him.

The dad who was never there,

The disclosure of being raped.

Of being beaten.

Of disease.

Of a debilitating aloneness.

And then he looks around. For support, and the gravity of that, too. Some of us give it too him. Some of us do not. They are stuck in their own timelines and the chewing of their fingernails with worry.

How am I like him, they wonder.

In a thousand ways.

Hitler raped us all and then consoled us. He was an aberration. He was the space between us and the nightmare he unleashed. We are the wounded from a past set of violences from which no light escapes. The idea of time in its most primitive form is probably the recognition of an order of sequence in our states of consciousness. It can only have occurred either before or after the other, or else at the same time. What we commonly think of as time, is not. It’s duration, a relationship. When they stand around me like this with their cocks stuffed into their jeans, I can can smell them as if they were a boiling milk, a warmness that emanates a here and now. We cannot describe the time of an event except by reference to some other event. Gravity does not exist inside a vacuum. Gravity makes the bending of light a possibility. Reality itself a possibility. The difference between one event and another does not depend on the mere difference of the times or the places at which they occur, but only on the nature, configuration, or motion of the bodies.

It’s about what we remember and what we choose to forget. Physics in particular often requires extreme levels of precision in time measurement, which has led to the requirement that time be considered an infinitely divisible linear continuum, and not quantized or composed of discrete and indivisible units. I have been doing this for a long time. And I know what at-risk means. It means you have become stuck in time. In non-relativistic or classical physics, the concept of time generally used is that of absolute time. Newtonian time which is independent of any perceiver, progresses at a consistent pace for everyone everywhere throughout the universe, and is essentially imperceptible and mathematical in nature. This accords with most people’s everyday experience of how time flows.

For some. Physics tells us we can move ourselves to the future but it is impossible to move ourselves to the past. I am here to tell you that many, many human being live in the past of their own creations.

What these boys know of their abuse is what their memories revolve around. Their memories and quantum mechanics are the same thing. What happens kicking around in their brains is far too often a feedback loop. Time is elusive and enigmatic. The moment now is ephemeral. The experience of The Now means something special for man, something essentially different from the past and the future, but that this important difference does not and cannot occur within physics. In cosmology, we think of the expanding universe as the continuous creation of new space; the universe continues to grow as the space between galaxies increases. That recognition makes it plausible that in the ongoing expansion, the universe is creating not only new space but also new time. Each newly created moment is what we refer to as now.

They are standing around my desk NOW. They are thinking NOW. They are creating and recreating themselves and what they know NOW.  Gravity is a force NOW. Pushing us together.

And pulling us as objects objects TOWARD each other NOW. We are conflicted because being alive is a physical conflict or a universe of them. Anything which has mass also has a gravitational pull. The more massive an object is, the stronger its gravitational pull is. Earth’s gravity is what keeps you on the ground and what causes objects to fall. Gravity is what holds the planets in orbit around the Sun and what keeps the Moon in orbit around Earth. The closer you are to an object, the stronger its gravitational pull is. Gravity is what gives you weight. It is the force that pulls on all of the mass in your body.

Sometimes I feel as if my world unfolds in slow motion even as I can see these these boys grow. It all goes so fast and in pieces. I am the dancer who exists as time is happening all around me. We have seen from observations of light coming from behind objects of high mass, that the light is ‘lensed’ by the gravitational field of massive objects. However, light itself has no mass. While photons as little packets of light do not have mass, however they have momentum, and a change in momentum yields a force, so in actual fact light is able to physically interact with matter. Photons of light are not technically affected by large gravitational fields; instead space and time become distorted around incredibly massive objects and the light simply follows this distorted curvature of space.

How do human beings whose sub-molecular constituents are not divorced from behavior as physics, distort history to conform to what we assume is real.

We stand around a desk creating new versions of ourselves. We physically interact. It matters.