I am a communist. There is no god. There is no Jesus. There is no golden throne up in the clouds. There is only disease. Take this piece. It conforms to the specs of the moment. Intro: Make it personal with the privileged child. Anecdotal. Middle: Always, always an expert. Academics are good. People believe in academics especially if they’re men. Men hate women is the truthful answer. I teach adolescent boys with AIDS. They are beyond amused that I am banned from the NYT for life. The mommies don’t want anything that looks like it might be the truth. Why are you here. To take my HIV pills. Why are you here. To get high. Why are you here. To suffer. I am here to suffer. Ending: It has to be about hope, and Yes, But. You are here to endure. Is that all you’ve got. We often camp at the top of the Blue Ridge. Under stars that sing. Some boys pray. I stop them. I make them put it away. I explain it is not intelligent. Stop praying. These are not Mommy’s little boys. They’re criminals. They’re addicts. They steal everything. But especially my heart. Happy endings are your problem. There is a cure right around the corner. How stupid are you. “Those boys deserve to die.” We hear this sickness every day. The boys believe it. We are about survival. It is not existential. Covid and HIV is: You Are Going To Die. Why are we out here in the winter. I do not have happy answers. We will endure. Dive further into your warm sleeping bag. Then, we die.