New York Times

If I said to my kid: You are getting vaccinated, go get on the bike, my kid would go get on the bike. If I said: You will be volunteering this week at the food bank, my kid would be at the food bank. I do not think he needs an ice cream truck. I do not think he needs fireworks. He does not need disco lights. He’s not going to wack the ship with champagne. I do not think he needs a vacation in a five-star beach hotel. What he needs is to clean his room, and do his homework. That champage ship has sailed. What. In. The. World. Are. Parents. Doing. This is serious business. It is not a birthday party. You do not get a lollipop. Because you do not need anything but yourself. Having had emergency foster care placement kids for a long time, I know exactly what parents are doing. Weak parents are making unconfident kids. You don’t need a wall mural to take a selfie in front of to send to your friends who are not your friends. You don’t need that bike I let you play with because you can walk. That’s right. I said walk. You need to be in your bed by ten. Period. No negotiating. No testing. No sneaking. No porn. Give me that phone I pay for. I want confident kids. I want accomplished kids. The pressure is on. Deal with it. I want kids who ask questions. I want kids who read. I want kids whose friends have rules, too. I want kids who know how to love hard. I want kids who give love back. I want kids who will laugh, and laugh, and laugh.

My kid does all of this. It’s called survival.