Larry Summers is your grandfather’s economics. What if Putin had put that $107,000,000 he spent on Russia’s debt, into Bit Coin instead. The fallout would be a challenge to the Central Bank. And then, let’s pretend he does it again. The snake bites back. Has anyone figured out that Putin wears platform shoes. We wear platform shoes here in Appalachia, too, when we go snake hunting. We got dragontigersnipersguns. They’re Russian. We kill snakes every day as do my dogs. My old dog Blue was back in the woods with the little girls where they were playing ballerina in thongs. Blue is a herding animal, a Blue Heeler, and Blue does not fuck around he will nip them to go where he wants them to go. Those little girls in their pink ballerina outfits complain about Blue surrounds them like they were sheep. I tell them they are sheep. In thongs. But this time. They come running through the woods to the cabin, Daddy, Daddy, Blue killed a snake. It had rattles and was longer than Blue. Larry Summers needs to come on down to Appalachia, kill a few snakes, and lean back drinking moonshine from a jar. And while he’s at it, why not hire us to wash his dishes and clean his toilet and make his bed. We would only put snakes in bed with Russians.