Unfortunately, I am compelled to travel through West Virginia if I am forced to go that way (I go around it), at least I’m quick about it. West Virginia is a shit hole. I suggest, we send them drugs. Killer drugs. Drop them from helicopters. Lots and lots and lots and lots of drugs and we will make them free to the pieces of shit that run West Virginia. Big Girl drugs. One pop, yer dead. Collect all the drugs in China. Drop them on Joe Manchin’s mansion. Where do you think it came from. The Manchins are from royalty. Matilda the Hun. Stop it, you know who she is. How IS IT that a shit hole country runs our country and gloats about it. I would like to see Joe Manchin fight my grandma ‘s cat. That cat would rip his panties into a blizzard from the North. Don’t google Manchin too deep. There are a variety of photographs that will pop up. Like this one. All of them are Joe Manchin. It’s a sin that West Virginia (population 3) now runs the world because our founding fathers were scared of West Virginia, too, which is why there is a filibuster. Here’s the thing. Manchin looks like my old gym teacher I sued. For breaking my fucking bones. True story. Shit. The respondent wore white, patent leather shiny golf shoes, too. Manchin may be seen steaming at the golf club bar. White. Patent leather shoes. Why couldn’t they just be cute shoes, Joe. I wrote a book once called Cute Shoes. That is not what my critics called it. I have spies. Just how many pairs of white, patent leather golf shoes (the rules clearly state that you cannot wear white, patent leather shoes in the bar because the bar people are looking forward (Lesbian Golfing Associoation, LTD), not backward. No one knows I am a witch. I will make him a cup of witch’s brew that will taste like shit but it will cure him. I am doing photographs (thousands, I gotta whittle it down) for a book called Appalachia Town. Esquire will assist me since I am dazed and confused and need help and have no idea of what is going on in all those banks I rob. I’ll hear all about it now from West Virginia. It’s not even Virginia. You know, the army has special education helicopters so why don’t we start dropping these tasteful people from the special education choppers because it’s just too much. West Virginia is running the planet. It makes me a dizzy queen to think about it. We could push them off the machine and call it fertilizer. Tim Barrus is coming to your little town to take photographs of the old cars you live in. No wheels. No deals. No piggy squeals. The day will arrive (it always does) what he was born to do. Eat shit, bitch.