I have been asked to care for two Doodlebugs. They do not live here. They are kinda lost. They cry a lot. I am taking them for a walk through the Jump Off Rock Woods. We are having fun. I did not expect this. I did not want this. Covid did not take a holiday. “We saw a police man.” The numbers of emergency placements during the Holidays – in normal times – is higher than Americans want to know anything about. In a good year, these kids would be fragile. I have to test the older one. He is diabetic. I have had my gutful of Americans. It’s like being surrounded by mad people who spit and bite. Mad for Jesus. Emergency placements are short. Usually, relatives (more mad for Jesus) have to be located. Many do not want to be located. Why can’t people think before they have kids. THINK!

I didn’t want to go back to town. But I have spare bedrooms in town. The cabin is one room. FUCK! I did not want to go food shopping today. Not on the 24th. The kids and I are being offered a ride to Publix. The kids have laundry to do. Erase that. I have tons of the kid’s laundry to do. It will all be at the house by now. Some social worker (or a cop) must have just thrown all their shit into one black plastic garbage bag. No. More. Cops. Today. Tomorrow. Or otherwise. I stand way back from cops. WHY in hell do the cops have to get involved. I do not know the whole story. I do not want to know the whole story. In fact, take your Christmas and… 

“You must miss your mom.”

“She was sick can you run in leaves.”

“Yes. Where’s your dad.” What the fuck and I going to do with them tomorrow. Do I look like Santa Claus to you. There will be no gifts to open. Maybe we can bake some fucking cookies. 

“We don’t know him. Mom said we don’t need him.”

“Your mom was right to think so.” Why the fuck did I just say that. No idea.

“When is she coming home. I want my mom.”

“Let’s go feed the dogs. Have you ever fed a dog.”

Heads shake no.

Have you ever been on a dirt bike.

Heads shake no.

There is a first time for everything.

“Is Santa coming.” Eyes light up.

I have to sit down in the leaves. I have to tell them. Deep breath. Deep breath. Deep breath.

I’ve been looking for that right organic moment. It has arrived.